T h e R e d C o l l a b o r a t i v e

The Collaborative Revelations Scroll:  From Isolation to Community originated in 2001 for an exhibition in the Meeting House Gallery, New Marlborough, MA. On that occassion, Gabrielle Senza created an installation in the Project Space that expressed the intensely isolating feeling of invisibility that she experienced while growing up in an incestuous family. She presented the Collaborative Revelations Scroll as a testament to that experience, and offered it as an invitation to others to participate in sharing their own stories. The Scroll has continued to grow as it is exhibited in galleries, workshops, and conferences around the country.For information on including the Collaborative Revelations Scroll in an exhibition or event, please contact Gabrielle Senza at Red Collaborative (visit our Contact Page).

To participate in The Collaborative Revelations Scroll project, you may add your own entry in the comment box below. We ask that your entry is honest and heart-felt. Please do not abuse the integrity of this project by submitting rude, hateful or sexually explicit comments. All entries will be reviewed for appropriateness before being added to this online version of The Scroll. If you would like us to add your entry by hand to the actual Collaborative Revelations Scroll, please put your request in the comment box as well. This project is entirely anonymous. You do not have to include your real name in the entry.

This is a collaborative work between artist and viewer.
Please share your own experiences, thoughts and impressions
on the challenges we face in our society full of mixed messages
and double-standards. — g. senza

There was a time in my life – a period of many years – when I actually felt invisible. I thought if I were able to go through school without people actually seeing what was going on in my life at home and in my being – emotionally and physically – that they must not really be able to see me – that I must actually be invisible. Silently I screamed for help. I knew not where to turn. I felt it must be obvious to someone (please somebody!) that things weren’t as they should be. I was always surprised and mortified whenever somebody recognized me and said hello- even years and years later.How could they recognize me if they’ve never seen me? It was confusing…why didn’t I say something to somebody? …Why didn’t I? A simple question without a simple answer. Why didn’t I??? I was afraid. I was protecting my mother. I was afraid of losing my family. I was afraid of suddenly becoming visible- exposed and visible all covered with shit. I was afraid. I was afraid of hurting each member of my family, including my perpetrator. I was afraid of being stoned or spit upon. I was afraid. I grew up. I kept the secret. I finally broke the secret at age twenty-nine. I told in an attempt to protect my neice and nephew. The result was successful but very painful for all involved. My family believed and supported me. They stood with me in the confrontation with the perpetrator. He was quickly banished from my family. The crises brought the rest of us closer together. I know for many it is the opposite that results. Often it is the one who suffers who is banished from the family. It’s devastating. Fortunately, there are individuals and groups who are available for support and help. We are not invisible. I am not invisible. You are not invisible.
gs 7 .17.01

I didn’t really
remember until
I was 55 years old…
A secret buried for 52 years.
I still can become
invisible when it suits me.

We are only invisible to ourselves.
MKJ
7/01

Ashes to ashes-
Dust to dust…
The supreme irony.

“All that you
can’t leave
behind”
U2

I wish you
and your
family
peace
–R.A.B.D.
8/19/01

No wonder it is so
difficult for us to see each other in this
culture – we are so busy trying to
let ourselves become what we never could
be that we are terrified to see any
who reflect who we really are.

Blessed be – MKJ 07.23.01

The courage of
your fragility,
of mine, of the
strength of
letting it show!

“Give me a call
when you decide you’re
willing to fight
for what you think is real
for what you think is right”
Ani Defranco

I forgot what had happened,
I remembered but somehow hid
the significance to myself. Even
when my parents asked me if it
had happened to me too-I said no.
I don’t know when I finally saw
those memories for what they really
were but then it was like the sound
suddenly coming on in the middle
of a silent movie- “oh, that’s what
its about. . .”
- MQ

When I was small my father
left me and he did not come
back. I told no one for
years- until I was an
adult, I held it inside
shame shame shame
Does it ever completely
go away?
I think not!
P.P.
7-20-01

Every one wants
to be HAPPY.

Love heals everything. ALB

You are what you love
not what loves you!

Courage

UPSIDE DOWN

“Love is handing a flower
to a naked young man
with vermine in his
hair while your mother
sits at home with
a broken heart”
BUKOWSKI

Grace to be born!
& live as variously
as possible!
- F. O’Hara

The subject subjects
the subject.
– Louis Althusser

IF YOU ARE
GOING THROUGH HELL,
KEEP GOING.
- Winston Churchill

Ok is Ok.
Gaitano 8-01

For a long time I battled with
depression. My parents and teachers
always thought I could
do anything I put my mind to and
there must be something wrong
with me that I couldn’t deal
with even the simplest things.
I felt as if everything was
my fault. I felt evil.
MH

I am evil deep within
Deeper still than my skeletal grin
Farther faster keep going in
visit that evil deep under my skin.
Makenzie Hayes, 98

RIP Burke O’Brien, 1979-2003
The day when the good must die
and the rest chase crusades and sports cars.
You reminded me there was good in the world;
in then you were shot for no reason.
Where are you, Burko? Why did you have to leave?
And why wasn’t I there to help bury you?

The power of love
Is the power of strength.

Everyone makes a
mark somehow in
some way.

God is

God isn’t

Find the
strength within
to carry on and never
hesitate to ask for
support.
S.K.D. 3/03

“LOVE iS THE iNFiNiTE PLACED WiTHiN REACH OF POODLES.” L.F.CELINE

The hardest thing to do is to watch the one you love love someone else.

Everything is OK in the end,
if it is not O.K. it’s not the end

-too true. I know it. I know because I have seen the end.
It is the beginning.

Ich hasse dich.

•
FRAGILE
PURE
SEED
CRACKED
BROKEN
PERFECT
PRISTINE
HOLY
BRILLIANT
WOMAN
•

BLUE
+
MEDIUM

From a life of peace and plenty – an innate sense of chaos

WE MUST NEVER HIDE LEST WE COMMEMORATE THE
OUTRAGE. HOW DARE THEY PRY OPEN OUR INTIMACY
AND HONESTY AND FEAR WE EMERGE EMBLEMATIC
OF FAITH AND TRANSITION. POSITRONIC AURAS OF
STRENGTH FIE ON YOU CY FOR SEDUCING ME AND
NOT CARING IF MY COME SIZZLED WITH RAGE
AND FEAR IN THE BACK OF YOUR THROAT YEAH.
SURE I WANTED ‘IT’ BUT MY YEARS KNEW NOT
WHAT ‘IT’ WAS – I NOW KNOW YOU KNOW NOW,
HOW MANY OTHERS STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND
AND WORK MIGHTILY TO TEAR DOWN THE
WALLS WE FORTIFIED OUR DOUBTING SOULS
WITH NO WONDER I SCREAM NO WONDER
I’M SEEN WITH A SENSE OF TERROR &
DREAD HAH SO THAT WAS A KIND OF
LOVE AND ATTENTION I NEVER GOT
UGLY STEP-SISTER OF ABUSE I KNOW
YOU TRIED HARD AND DID THE BEST
YOU COULD IT WASN’T APPROPRIATE
BUT THERE WAS LOVE THERE
NEARLY ARABLE I HATE
NUMBNESS PINCH ME BEAT
ON ME CUT MY FINGERS OFF
I’M STILL HERE AND WILL
LET YOU KNOW GS YOU ARE
ABUNDANT AND REDOLENT
OF LOVE AND WILL AND
FLOURISH.

“Noons of dryness find you fed
By the involuntary powers,
nights of insult let you pass
watched by every human love”.
Lullaby
WH Auden
E.C.D. 8/19/01

“The Clothesline Project”
See it and understand;
See it and heal.
Blessed Be –
Skip
8/19/01

Rape = Power
The power which is
stolen may take years
to recover – but
it is retrievable!
Do not wait or
be silent…
retrieve it now.
t.w. 1/29/03

Is there such
a thing as a
gentle rape?
A rape that is
clean and tender like
a Doctor examining
a patient? No
Physical violence, just calm, quiet and then it’s over, goodbye.

HAEC SUMMA EST

My heart that bleeds
My heart that bleeds
‘cause the shit I’ve been through
sometimes I feel like I can’t succeed
but I got to
In total darkness, no light to follow
my soul being torn
my body feeling hollow
Eyes of Anger, Tears of Blood
my mind in a daze
Drowning in a flood
I’m in a maze
confused, fogotten
No one to talk to
Abandon, unwanted.
by Lilly

Ashes to ashes and dust to dust,
return to oblivion if you must.

amor
es
infinito

Double tear ‘em

Creer que un cielo en un infierno cabe
dar la vida y el alma s un desengano;
esto es amor: quien lo probo’ lo rabe.” Lope de Vega

“I thank you God for
most this amazing day –
for the ears of my ears awake
& the eyes of my eyes are opened…
always the beautiful answer
that asks a more beautiful
question. . .” (ee cummings)
Peace Saalim, Shalom,
Paz, Shanti
Love
Wandalah
Rabinowitz

“We are all responsible”
- Marilyn Kalish

I just want to feel
good in my
own skin.

Abuse makes you old. ES

I who have died am alive again today
and this is the sun’s birthday
this is the birthday of life & love
and of the gay great illimitable earth.
Wendy

The openness
to realizing your
purpose and forget
what has been
conditioned.
JS

Hurting you…
more than it hurts me.
Interesting.
He liked to say that.
He liked to
believe it.
I don’t
believe it’s true.
I believe it is crap.

Life is good
you must enjoy
the ride – It’s
a one way
ticket.

I’m so glad
I lived long enough
to get sober
& give back.

. . .

In April 2008 we were invited by Eve Ensler and V-Day.org to bring The Collaborative Revelations Scroll to New Orleans for the phenomenal two day V TO THE TENTH Celebration. It was displayed on a twelve foot table in the Healing Lounge with a gorgeous flower arrangement and plenty of pens for people to share in the scroll whatever feelings of pain, grief, regret or gratitude. About 72 new entries were made. We are deeply grateful to all those who participated. It is our honor to share them here.

V TO THE TENTH ~ NEW ORLEANS ~ HEALING LOUNGE ~ APRIL 11 & 12, 2008

God loves us all,
when we keep our mind on him
and when we love one another.
Sandra P.

In 2002, I tried to destroy myself because a man tried to destroy me,
in 2008, I’m going to be a teacher. DO NOT GIVE UP!

All we need is love.
– Love Tyrus!

Family love there’s nothing like it!
LDM and DM

May God bless all of you.
Ronette 4/08

See the world through the lens of a creative woman.
DAL

All things work for the good of those who trust in God.
Thanks, Katrina, for the lesson in trust.

My life was touched here today.

Go where there is no path and leave a trail…
PC

There is joy in the morning.

Sous les parés la plage.

Courage.

Respect the Mother!
+
Respect yourself.

If Ani DeFranco can take the time to care, then so can I! Wonderful, Ani! xx Kathy Girl

KEEP YOUR HEAD UP! 2Pac

God is good.

Love is a gathering together of God’s flock such as V-day.
Love/Hugs Effie B.

May you always look to Jesus.

God is good.

I know what it means to miss New Orleans!
D. McHenry

I am strong because of what my mother went through.
D.K.Cummings

The power loving yourself is great!

Love
Happiness
Peace.

Be true.

The power of love is the power of strength!

Everyone makes a mark somehow and in some way.

Violence is something you learn…let’s teach our children L-O-V-E!!
Barbra Hodge 2008 V-day

We have met the enemy and he is US!

My mom is my best friend.

Live
Love
Life

Thank you!
Jennifer Jones, New Orleans Grand Marshall

Love your family.

We are all God’s children.

Be who you is, because if you be who you ain’t, then you ain’t who you is!

We are Queens of the world!!!
– Roslyn 2008

Thanks for being here for us.

Believe in yourself.

Hide your eyes with cool bangs.

To God be the glory
for the things that He
has done.
We going to make it
we just have to
unify and stay together,
get together and be together.
Kay

Thank you so much for everything. God bless you.

Awareness is the key!

I am learning to love myself again.

Life is good.
You must enjoy the road – it’s a one-way ticket.

It’s about the journey…

My disabilities have given me my greatest abilities.

ALABAMA!!

God bless.

I will listen, I will tell your story even when it seems nobody is listening. Thank you. Melyssi

Love, peace, and joy.
- Liz

For years I was influenced to be quiet, to be invisible. I thought my life was over. And then, I opened up. I was finally heard and seen. I started to see the light at the end of a dark tunnel. I thank God for getting me out of that hell I lived in for so many years. I found the courage and the strength and I hold on to it every second of every day. My abuser once told me –
“I’ve never hit anyone before – you’re the first one I’ve ever hit!”
I hope I was the last!
It may be scary, but definitely worth it. Just Reach Out.
Karen
NO MORE VIOLENCE!!!!

Many times we as women abuse ourselves by allowing others to way us down. Today I am a new woman. I promise to take better care of my spiritual, mental and physical self. I am a star!

V-DAY ROCKS!
GO VAGINA!

We all deserve to be cherished, honored and respected.
PEACE and GRACE.
– Call me Queen –

Make Your Dreams Come True.
Geneva ’08

No more nightmares!
- Virginia

Stop bad things before they happen!

Thanks so much to all of you dedicated servants carrying on Jesus’ mission.
- Joan

Stop the cycle of abuse by any means necessary. Love, Live, Laugh at all costs!
Sylvia ’08 New Orleans

Eddie Giles Jr. is gone and I’m still here – he tried to take my Vagina away but God said “No!”
Moi

Thanks
Big
Queen
OPRAH
Love – U

Big Queen Creole Wild West Mardi Gras Indian.

I thank you for being here.

Love
Light
& Wisdom
Sarone ’08

To the women -
we can be each other’s strength.
Superlove does not have to end.
Let them know, we will not stand for this.
We deserver better.
Peace, Love Vagina!
Nef

I will continue to fight for you. I will not stop. We will win together.

Remember – I will walk through!!!
Do not linger – God is able.

Well, stay very healthy and if you already are healthy, keep it up.
Jessica Smith
1998

How is it that a man can beat his wife, rape his wife, and still receive custody of his children and the beaten wife placed in jail. You just have to live in New Orleans and it can happen to you!! When will our voices be heard? Who is speaking for the children? Kimmie, Auntie Mary loves you. J — your time has come to be the man God has called you to be and not the man your father is!

I remember my father raping me and my grandmother, his mother, looking the other way. I remember that same grandmother allowing my father to “examine” me with his fingers thrust into my vagina saying he could tell if I was pregnant or not — because I was so depressed, they could not understand what was wrong with me. I remember it all. P.D.

We women are wonderful!
Thanks for bringing your love
for the tired New Orleans women!

. . .